"March/2017"
The meaning of GOBSMACKED is to be overwhelmed with wonder, surprise or shock: astounded.
It must have been about Wednesday March 15, 2017 when it dawned on me that if Tad, my husband of forty-one years, hadn’t died in 2008, the following Saturday, March 18, 2017 would have been our 50th Wedding Anniversary. I hadn’t really thought much about it, though initially, I had been a little steamed knowing that not only had Mom and Dad celebrated 60+ years, but so had both sets of my grandparents! Shoot! Even Tad’s folks had celebrated their 50th Wedding Anniversary! (Now, that’s another story, and probably not one you will hear from me.) But it’s important to note, and what I want you to know is that after that realization came to mind, I didn’t dwell on it and went on without giving it much more thought.
The next part of this narrative is a real challenge to describe, but it’s as true as I can tell it. At the time I was staying in a rental house in Oro Valley, Arizona while my rock house was being built. Very early Saturday, on that March 18th morning, maybe around 2:00 a.m. I was in bed, sound asleep when suddenly I was startled awake. My eyes had flown opened precisely at the same time I had a sensation of being kissed; more like being smacked on the lips! (Picture this: Close your eyes and put all your fingertips together over your lips. Now, simultaneously burst open your fingertips and your eyes.) In that instant and at first, all I could see was a close up blur that turned into a burnished, swirling, but defined mist. It was over in a moment…
I was totally rattled and in tears! Shaken, I got up trying to put together what had just happened. I was not frightened as I felt it was for good; like a special blessing, but I was unbelievably overwhelmed! I reached for my bible and the “Our Daily Bread” devotional which I use to center my thoughts in times like these. It worked to a certain extent, but I seemed to need something more. Then I was reminded of a CD that just happened to be included with the few that were not packed in storage. At the time of Tad’s memorial September 10, 2008, my sister-in-law Cindy stayed in Fort St John, BC Canada to be with Mom and Dad who couldn’t make the trip to Tucson. My brother Steve brought with him the “Memories of Tad”; a CD Cindy had made for me. I knew it would be special and I wanted to wait until a time that wouldn’t be so hectic, so I set it aside for later. Hard to believe that 9 years had gone by until the most perfect “later” arrived… Expecting it to be photos of Tad throughout the years, I was surprised when I saw that she had lovingly put together the photos from a day trip the four of us went on while we were in FSJ for sister Karolyn and Darren’s 2008 wedding. It was a fabulous day that included a riverboat trip up the Murray River to the Kinuseo Falls, a stop alongside the Peace River at Alwin Holland Park, and a visit to their property at Moberly Lake. But most of all it was the precious time together that made for a perfect day. Little did we know then that it would be the last time that the four of us would be together… well, on earth anyway. Sitting on the sofa watching images that brought sweet memories to mind while listening to “Fare Thee Well, Love” being poignantly sung by the Rankin Family, the tears subsided and gave way to calm, peace and ultimately…restful sleep.
"Reflections of These Golden Threads"
Some thoughts about that early morning… Initially, I had the impression it was Tad that had kissed me. Later thinking, “Afterall, it was our 50th Wedding Anniversary.” And then it was: Funny, my eyes didn’t open to a field of flowers with me seeing Tad off in the distance, bounding towards me like in the movies (Which would NOT have been his style!) It was an abrupt entrance; designed to get my attention. My friend Mary said, “Patti, you were kissed by the Holy Spirit!” I’ve come to think she was right; it was a gift from God; His gift of encouragement for the moment. However, it’s an extremely personal experience to just put out there... Not sure what I’m supposed to do with it but felt strongly compelled to write it down.
Perhaps, it’s for you… Have you ever experienced the presence of God in such a tangible way? It could have been being jarred awake in the early morning hours or maybe it was as gentle as a soft breeze that caressed your cheek. Pay attention! You don’t want to miss a moment of what He has for you!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The following paragraph will be attached for public viewing only after securing copyright permission from Chris Tomlin for this use of his cover design.
*A Copyright permission request was submitted August 21, 2023 on CCLI’s “WHAT CAN WE HELP YOU WITH?” As of today, October 6, 2023 there has been no response.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
…And then there was this additional underlining; months later as I was getting the music together for one of my Singspiration Sing-Alongs that I came across Chris Tomlin’s “Jesus Messiah” and was blown away by its cover design “Hello, Love”.
If you were to ask me to draw a representation of what that ‘burnished, swirling, yet defined mist’ looked like, I would have drawn something very much like the line drawing above and behind the letters. Makes me wonder if Mr. Tomlin had a similar experience… Oh, how I would love to ask him! He’s scheduled to be here in Tucson on September 8th for a concert. Who knows?
Comments